She is nothing more than a ZOMBIE sucking all the money out of us for no good reason she brings NOTHING to our lives but resentment and hate! My grandfather (age 83) has just been placed in a rehab facility for what appears to be the end of his life, he is not eating and forgotten how to swallow food. I am 23 and since I was 13, he has been living with my parents as they are his full time caretakers.
I moved out of their house at age 17 to go to college (as my parents harshly remind me everyday that I didn’t help them care for my grandfather).
I’ve learned that caring for someone with Alzheimer’s is filled with regret that lasts long after the person dies.
I call my mom frequently to see how he’s doing and she says “great! I’ll immediately call my father and he’ll give me the honest real truth and say “he’s only got a few days.” I haven’t talked to my mother in a week because I feel like she is lying to me and not keeping me in the loop. I cared for my mum day in day out for 14 years ( Alzheimer’s) and in the last 2 years I increasingly became more angry and resentful towards her .I asked her if they would give him a feeding tube if it got to that point and she screamed at me and basically told me to stay out of it. Hi, my mother in law has vascular dementia, having had a couple of strokes a few years ago.. People keep saying what a wonderful job I did,but I know I didn’t and feel ashamed of myself for shouting at her towards the very final stages of her life.However, I believe individuals will eventually have more control over how and when they die, including decisions of how long to be kept alive with severe dementia. Until then, I keep praying — just in case there is a higher power. I pray every single day and some days I get so angry and resentful that she is still alive, she did not make our lives happy when she was all there so to have to quit 2 jobs to take care of her and her affairs has put a bad taste in my mouth and I just want to bury her and be done with it all.I thought when my parents died I will be able to enjoy the rest of my life instead I am the POA STUCK taking care of a woman I resent and can’t stand some days and like you my Mom is 92 in good physical health but mentally GONE, she always had mental issues, I will never understand why this woman is still alive?Even if we lived in a state where choosing death is an option, Mummy would have to possess the mental capacity to make this crucial decision and then personally carry it out. *Photo Purchased From i Stock Photo Tagged as: aging, aging parents, Alzheimer's blog, Alzheimer's disease, care giving, caregiver, cognitive abilities, cognitive function, Dating Dementia, dementia, elderly, end of life, end of life decisions, how to die, older adult, older parents, sandwich generation I feel the same way you do and I do believe in God, I just do not understand why he would let people live in this horrible state, it is emotionally and financially draining on their family.
Sadly, she is far beyond the point of making any decisions, especially the choice to end her own life. She doesn’t have a lot of money and my Dad passed last year he left a little but NOT enough to afford her nursing home and she had to go because she was not taking care of herself.Every day she seems to withdraw a little more, and I’m no longer sure she even knows I am her daughter. She now needs help with everything — even the most basic human functions.At this point, I believe she is simply existing in her body.She is not emotionally prepared to answer questions to answers she should have asked herself 10 years ago when this all started. She halluncinated before, got agitated, but was basically ambulatory with help. One doctor told us the hallucinations might lessen as the brain continued degenerating. My advice is to always remember that there REALLY is someone still locked in there and understands more than we/I understood.Now she is weak and bedridden but the hallucinations are gone. Always be careful when talking about them in there presence/I made this mistake and now feel crushed.If anyone knows how tragic Alzheimer’s can be, it is my mother.