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Background: I, a 21-year-old male, enjoy receptive fisting. Question: I saw my doctor recently, and he tried to link my enjoyment of anal sex to my constipation. Fearing Inner Sanctum Tarnished "There are many myths about anal sex, but this is the first time I've heard this one," said Dr.

(Granted, I didn't tell him EVERYTHING I do down there.) My understanding was that there was no causal relationship, assuming no serious injuries occur. Peter Shalit, a physician in Seattle and a member of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association.

I did not start dating online because I was lonely or desperate. One fateful night, one of my still single girlfriends was in the dumps about not having a boyfriend.

It's also the first time I've heard anyone associate fisting with constipation—typically when fisting is mentioned in the same sentence as constipation, FIST, it's as a cure.

But it's a myth that fisting cures constipation, of course, along with anal sex being inherently dangerous.

A fucked-up top can quickly become an out-of-control top, and a fucked-up bottom can be numb to feelings of discomfort that mean "slow down," "stop and add more lube," or "stop altogether." Despite the fact that millions of people safely engage in anal play, many people believe that anal play does irreparable harm to the anus—or the soul—and that sadly includes many doctors.

"There is a misconception that these activities can cause damage by stretching or tearing the tissue, when actually the anus is very elastic and much of the 'permission to enter' actually involves intentional relaxation of the muscles by the bottom" and not force applied by the top, Dr. (The top applies gentle pressure, the bottom breathes, relaxes, and opens up.) "If a person suffers from constipation, that should be addressed as its own problem and not blamed on any type of anal sexual activity," said Dr. "In addition: For obvious reasons, it's not fun to bottom if you're constipated, so it would be good to have this problem evaluated and treated by a nonjudgmental health-care provider who understands that anal penetration—by fist, penis, or dildo—does not cause constipation." Finally, FIST, your doctor was misinformed, which is not helpful.

After a year, a nice guy at a State Park helped me load my kayak onto my car and asked me out.

I’m a sucker for guys who are willing to carry things, so I said yes and we dated for a couple of months.

Some, I saw only once, but most were interesting or amusing enough that we went out at least twice.

Let’s compare this to the men I met in person: the golf course manager who was a friend of a friend, the guy who carried my kayak and a guy I know from work who is much older than me and a bit lonely.

When that relationship ended (amicably, I might add), I was 26 and my once single friends were spending weekends picking out paint chips instead of going out with me!

), in shape, have an interesting job, have interesting hobbies and tons of friends. I had a serious live-in boyfriend for several years in my early twenties, and so, while my single friends were out meeting men in bars and partying, I was picking out paint chips in Home Depot and installing new light fixtures in the house.

"Fisting is a safe activity, provided that both the top and bottom are sober at the time," said Dr. "It does not cause damage or constipation or any other type of bowel problem.