He emphasized the need to progress slowly, pausing along the way like divers coming from the deep.
Two: Your “Must Not Haves”This list compliments the one above and, in fact, you may find that it is generated at the same time. Even the ambiguous will have meaning to you as you meet people.
Like with your “must haves,” you may find that some of these are rather concrete and others are vague and hard to define. Two of my items on the “must not have” list were 1) cannot be dishonest (uhmm..great. ) and 2) cannot have kids or want kids (I have pretty strong feelings on this one and it’s not fair to start a relationship with someone who does not match me here). Just let that thought go like a helium balloon in the wind. Not every date you go one will be good, but every date you go one will teach you something.
It’s fine (actually, wonderful) to get caught up in a moment, but don’t let that moment turn into a marriage that you do not intend. When I first joined Match.com, I went out on dates with men that didn’t jive at all with what I thought I liked.
Keep some distance so that you can make informed decisions about your future.♦◊♦Seven: Be Open I know what you’re thinking: “First she cautions me to keep some distance and now she wants me to be open? I found myself consistently surprised as I found characteristics and attributes attractive that were not on my radar before.
If I entered the dating arena with a closed mind, sure of what I liked, I would have never have met those men and learned those lessons.
Eight: Address Your Social Needs Divorce is alienating. The person that you spent most of your time with is gone.
We were able to set up partnership deliberately, not out of my automatic default setting.
Six: Keep Some Distance It can be easy to be swept away when you meet someone new. You, yourself, will most likely change from how you were in your marriage.
The following are my suggestions for your ten commandments of dating after divorce.
One: Your “Must Haves”Take some time to generate this list; do not assume what it contains.
I started out with a “try anything” approach, but I soon realized that there were “anythings” out there that I had no interest in trying.