"We are more concerned with impressing our romantic partners," Bonior said."We have more expectations of our friends forgiving these types of transgressions." The fact is, we've all been "the worst." "Whatever negative feelings we have about being flaked on might make us justify doing it to others.The strength of your relationship is measured by how often any alone time turns into the two of you sucking face like a couple of hogs eating the same banana.
And if that doesn't work, let's talk about it over a drink sometime. look on his or her face – you know the one – it comes as a total surprise."But sometimes, if I wanted to flake too, it makes me feel relieved or even self-congratulatory, like I won a game of chicken."Flaking — like that other modern phenomenon, — is clearly a two-way street. , "I join about 12 Facebook events a month for shows or birthdays and go to something like two of them.There's nothing like that rush of realizing you won't be caught in a corner with some stale conversationalist or stuck seeing a horrific band.Nowhere was this better demonstrated than in Kelly Stouts' ""B: I am total garbage at scheduling and forgot we were supposed to meet up tonight. We have the "you're lucky if you see them" friend, or the friend who is so chronically "maybe" going to attend something that you leave them off the restaurant reservations — even if they're "so gonna be there! "It became a running joke, and in a way, we all stopped taking him seriously because it seemed like he could never bother to take our plans seriously."Taking friendships seriously sounds like a given, but is hard to actually do.
That's why flakiness seems more rampant between friends than it does with, say, boyfriends or girlfriends.
Now, let me rephrase that, and let's be honest here: Do you have plans tonight that you'll actually keep?
If you answered anything other than "yes" to the second question, you are not alone.
' Hey, she did this same thing to me, so I'm not about to go out of my way to keep this date with her,'" Bonior said.
Even if we understand flaking totally sucks, we've created a sense of normalcy.
Feeling overextended with important commitments alleviates our flaking guilt. In the worst case scenario, it can actually damage our friendships.