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I’m going to bore you with a prehistorically old joke lesbians have been telling since the beginning of time.

Well girl, you can finally drop those tense shoulders and r-e-l-a-x.We girls (most of us) have a natural, deep-seated respect for the sexuality of another woman.Freehold, Iowa - This once Godly country has now sunk a little further into its amoral quagmire as it wallows its way back to Gomorrah.Martha Evans, an 11 year old strumpet, had her little harlot hiney dragged before court last week for luring filthy foreign men to her "Little Mermaid" decorated bedroom."That 11 year old AOL Chat Whore will no longer be able to tempt men old enough to be her daddy in AOL chatrooms if she can't type! "I sentence 11 Year old seductress, Miss Martha Evans, to have all of her little fingers on her right and left hands removed from the second knuckle, and both thumbs to be severed by a knife in the presence of Landover Baptist Church Deacons.

All revenues for the cable pay-per-view of this historic event shall inure to Landover Baptist Church for making the room, Bible and knives available." The incident that provoked such a response occurred Tuesday evening when Martha's parents, Billy Ray and Edna Evans, found 28 year old José Luis Rafael Gonzalez Sanchez Paco Henriquez hiding in Martha's toy closet. It's not that stupid stinking Mexican boy's fault who was tricked into sticking his fingers into that tramp's vagina.Unfortunately, when you finally muster up the courage to hop off the straight train and get off at station LGBTQ - there's no welcome committee presenting you with a “how to” guide -- and navigating the girl-on-girl scene is .OK, I get it; it’s not like you’ve never been at a DATE before.Today is the glorious day for you to pull that trigger and fearlessly dive into the wild and wonderful world of GIRLS-DATING-GIRLS.Abandon the tired notion that pretty girls only date boys, because it’s total, utter bullsh*t (why else would it feel so good? It's such an exciting time to be fresh out of that dark, repressive closet and to set foot into the whimsical underworld of Lesbian Dating.Once these men had snuck into her room, Martha would perform sex acts with them that she had learned from watching a Brittney Spears video.