You’re going to handle it however you’re going to handle it – all I’m doing is sharing my experience with you.
But I can tell you from my experience (both on the giving and receiving end of things), outside opinions are not appreciated.
My feeling these days is that if your relationship is good in the moments that you’re with the person, it’s good. And most importantly, I stopped interpreting someone else’s actions as a reflection of me.
Worrying about what they could do just throws away any chance for enjoying your own life. Anyway, I’m just sharing how I felt when I was in this sort of situation.
It was insecurity at its finest, and it’s not a male thing- it’s a human thing. I needed to learn to trust my own instincts – to trust that I would know something was wrong if my relationship was bad, not because I felt jealous or uncomfortable about a relationship she had.
Frankly, people are going to do whatever they want to do anyway.
Playing detective or trying to control the other person to prevent them from being able to contact someone is just going to fill that person with resentment and will drain you of energy you could put towards better things… Seriously meditate on this thought: People are going to do whatever they want to do.
No amount of trying to control them, or to “guilt” them, or to reason with them, or to commit to them, etc. Of course your actions matter, but what I’m saying here is that in the end, you can’t control the other person and even if you were able to, it’s much better to know that the other person is going to be the way you want them to be without you having to expend energy on “controlling” them. I stopped trying to be perfect and control everything so I could feel OK.At some point, he will ask himself: Is this the woman I want to commit myself to?The answer will determine whether the relationship deepens or ends.but other times they were absolutely, positively wrong.But I can tell you, every time that someone has pressured me by telling me their opinion of someone more than once, I started to resent them for making the complaint. Because when they tell me more than once that they don’t agree with my relationship with a person, they’re disrespecting me.He lent her a sum of money in the past which I think she still hasn’t paid back which could be a factor.