This is the hot stove principle: Tell a child not to touch the hot stove, and the forbidden act suddenly seems all the more attractive; the biblical motto of the harlot reiterates this conceit: “Stolen water is sweet and bread eaten in secret is pleasant” (Proverbs ).In a real sense, those who embrace Christian values can find pornography all the more appealing merely because it is demonstrably forbidden by their commitment to God.For the addict, this slavery has impacted his or her life in a particular, more demonstrative way; in fact, the conference in Philadelphia was called “The Addict in Us All,” to highlight this very point: we are all addicted to self, addicted to sin, and as Christians we are all being redeemed from that life of sin-slavery. Definitional differences aside, could it be that Christians actually have a more difficult time battling addictions?
I’ve had some of my female readers complain that the term neediness makes it sound like I’m framing women as weak, fragile, insecure creatures that just cling to men (and stress them out). I think women bring a tremendous strength and power to the table in relationships…
when they have access to it and are free of their own fears. Those fears are greater now more than ever really since there’s an entire industry devoted to making sure men and women are wrought with insecurities so they buy products (sowing in and agitating tiny insecurities is the bread and butter of the marketing world).
You stop enjoying the relationship for what it is and start craving validation and confirmation that it’s “the real deal.” And there’s only one thing that manifests from that place… QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Destroying Your Love Life?
These days, people are quick to throw the concept of neediness around without actually looking at what it is.
We are wired to love novelty—it is an essential part of our development.
When we encounter a new experience, our bodies release an extra dose of pleasure-producing chemicals, a mechanism which encourages us to experience and explore new things.So if a Christian’s value system leads him or her to believe that any sexual gratification outside of marital intimacy is wrong, then doesn’t use the word “addiction” for anything—not drugs, alcohol, nor any behavior.The language of addiction is largely shaped by culture—not medicine.Christian counselor Ed Welch explains: “In popular use, addiction has become a very elastic and ambiguous category that contains everything from the frivolous (added to the six o’clock news) to the grave (addicted to alcohol).It also includes the unequally yoked categories of disease and sin.A major fear is being lied to deceived which brings me to the main question of this article: Why do men lie? I’m talking about human nature – no one gender is more or less habitually a “liar”.