Most women, especially Muslim women, I believe, would not take such measures unless something was really broken.
Women need emotional support, and clearly, she is not getting it in the marriage so she is going outside to get it. Remember, brother, divorce – although sometimes a necessity – is something that is seriously disliked by Allah (swt).
Take this opportunity to try and better understand what’s happening, starting with yourself as a husband, and go from there.
The Qur’an says: So, a husband and wife complete each other – each one takes on a new aspect of their humanity, a new face, and depth to their personality by entering into marriage, and this is symbolized in this verse.Garments also conceal the body and protect the wearer so that a husband and wife are each other’s protectors and helpers and each of them safeguards their partner’s honor shaping the state of marriage into a haven and a sanctuary where each should feel safe and secure, sheltered in one another’s care and guardianship.” (Irshaad Hussein)Before you start thinking about divorce, you need to look at yourself as a husband.She says they are just friends and that she will never meet him but wants to stay in touch with him. There's no need for her to continue that relationship especially considering their texting history and the fact that he calls her sexy.The texts sent this time have been clean although he did call her sexy. I would talk to her about it again and let her know your concerns.I have history with one of them but our chats are clean. I did tell her how I feel and she offered to stop talking to him if that's what I wanted but I don't want to appear controlling.
Sorry folks, I say married but we're not actually married yet but I'm away to move in with her. Seems like it would be a huge double standard if you ask her to stop texting someone she has a history with if you still text someone you have a history with.For a woman, who you say comes from a good background, to need to go out and find companionship outside of her marriage says to me that something has not been working within your marriage for quite a while.I think this is the main issue that you need to investigate first.Telling her that she needs to cut off contact with THIS man because she previously had an emotional affair with him is setting boundaries.Setting boundaries with your partner is a good thing.What are you not doing or not giving your wife that would cause her to yearn for the companionship of another man?