As for the rules themselves, I think that the rules we set for teenagers are a safety net, not a protective coating, the kids can get around them if they are determined.Set the rules that you think are appropriate for her, if they are not 100% enforceable acknowledge this to her, and be clear about the consequences if you do find out that they have been broken.That does not mean, that if you think she is too young that you need to hide that opinion, but present it in a way that acknowledges her ability to make different decisions, and make sure it conveys your concerns about the effects her choices may have on her rather than an issue of right or wrong.
Its a complicated situation ( late, international, cross racial adoption, early trauma,etc. I would very much appreciate just seasoned experience and practical advice .Quite agree no preaching - if you believe your kid to be sexually active - and if it agrees with religious beliefs - I advise putting her on the pill.Make sure she has condoms if she will be alone with him. Single mom of teenager Well, I don't have that much experience with this as my daughter is 15 also. This totally embarasses her and she doesn't want to talk about it, but I think she's listening.The new shot that prevents cervical cancer would be a good idea too. She's in a kinda bookish group at school, and few of her friends have ''gone out'' with guys yet. Did you or another adult chauffeur, or was it at one of the kids' homes? I give my daughter possible things to say to boys in different situations because sometimes we just can't think of the right words at the right time! anon Group dating seems to be the best idea I heard until ...maybe 18?She needs to prove to you and herself that what you think, is of no concern to her - but it is a ruse - it matters more than she can accept or let on.
If you are not condemning (and sounds like you are not) but instead acknowledge the fact that this is ultimately a choice she must make about her own body, she will be more able to hear the things that you want to say about the situation.(Drugs also come into so- called dating.) If our kids hang with a crowd that don't date, it's easier.We're all in this together Dec 2001 I would like to hear from parents about what kind of parameters they set for dating for 16 year old girls --particularly sexually active ones who ( in addition to being great kids) can be defiant, unreliable, do not tell the truth and have various emotional problems for which they are in treatment/ on medication.You are obviously aware that a teen who is acting out like this will rebel against very restrictive rules, but that still leaves you room to maneuver.The task of a teenager is to become an adult, when a teen is troubled it is imperative that they learn that the responsibility for their actions is theirs alone. ) to unravel that while the problems may stem from some terrible situations and horrible stuff that other people did to her, that she is the one who must now move forward with her life and find ways to make choices that support her. (There's a chance that he's a friend of a friend of a friend!