(To be fair, most guys that age also have no clue what they want, and they continue to remain adolescent way into their 40s and beyond, since they don’t have the same deadline.) So if you want to succeed with a woman – however you define success for yourself, anywhere from getting a first date to getting some play to marrying her – . Exceptions exist, and they mostly prove the rule, and the rule is this: you can win only if she’s after you, not the other way around. So instead of chasing and being the seller, (Now I’ve got that damn Janet Jackson song in my head – thanks a lot, buddy). If you want to get her, you must want her less than she wants you. You’re going to break up with everyone you date except for that one person you marry.
I tend to keep my focus on this site primarily to things that are as broadly applicable as possible -- things you can do no matter who you are or where you are in life to do better with women.But the other day I had a reader write in asking about dating in college, and I thought the topic might be on worth getting a post up on.And then get massively depressed when that one says no? You should rejoice in the fact that you are surrounded by babes, all of whom are single (college women who are reading this: that goes for you, too). Granted, the odds may be good, but the goods are definitely odd. You need to appreciate the psychology of college-age women Kevin says that Wow. Kevin is sharp enough to notice this, too, about the putative ‘boyfriend’: all that sure about him. Girls her age simply have no idea what they want, and many end up as fully-grown who don’t really know what they want. Lemme get this straight: you haven’t started dating her yet.He may even just be a placeholder until something better comes along, since pretty girls are often terribly insecure about appearing alone (“Why doesn’t she have a boyfriend? Often it’s just the tick-tock of the biological clock that wakes them up in a cold sweat at dawn around age 36: “Holy shit! Which means you’ve never made out with her, and obviously you’ve never had sex with her. What if you find out she’s a lazy, selfish unreliable harridan who makes your life miserable? So instead of thinking you’re crazy in love with this girl whom you barely know, why not suspend judgment. Know that a long-distance relationship is no relationship at all Let me ask you this: it’s 11pm and you need toothpaste.Now, with only six weeks to go before the end of the academic term, things have slowed – but not for any discernible reason.
We had an hourlong breakfast two weeks ago and are planning to do a challenging dayhike with a small group next weekend. But it just seems like something is ‘off.’Her behavior over the last week has been uncharacteristically fickle.I know that if I do not tell her how I feel soon, I will not have a second chance. I have never attempted to date a girl who was in a relationship before and she is the only girl I have ever met that I would do anything to spend my life with. First of all, thank you Kevin for your astute observations on the nature of my work. And you’re in constant casual contact with all of them – at meals, in classes, at campus events. Before I pour another inch-thick layer of jamoca almond sarcasm on this, lemme tell ya something: the whole fickleness thing is not a bug – it’s a feature.So when there are thousands of cute members of the opposite sex running around campus, do you set your heart on of them and ignore the rest? But you’re smarter than us, so you shouldn’t do that. The most likely thing a girl that age is going to do with her mind is to change it.(To think that I may be a cause of anxiety is a terribly frustrating thought! Because I was Kevin not too long ago, all through college and medical school. You must get out of the scarcity mentality This is the big no-no when it comes to college romance.) If time were no object, I would take this as a signal to step back. Man what I would give to have those 8 years of my life turn out differently. Let me break it down for you: there will be a time in your life when you will be living alone in a big city, away from all of your friends. You are surrounded by cool people your own age all the time.For a 21 year old guy, what is the best way of throwing myself into single life?